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I feel hopeless, I'm hardly happy and when I am I can't be… - WHEN ALL HOPES DIE
Dec. 29th, 2010
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December 31st, 2010 03:26 pm (UTC)
From a stranger
You aren't alone. I often feel under-appreciated, and angry at what the world doesn't see. You'll always have time, and in time things always work out the way that they should. I know that sounds like some crappy line out of a motivational speaking book, but it's true. I've been working at my job for two years without so much of a raise, and just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore I got a new boss. He pulled me aside and realizes just how much work I do compared to everyone else, so since I stuck with the company granted all of the crap, I think it will work out for me in the end.
May I suggest comforting yourself in a better way? Treadmills are great for anger, because running releases a lot of bad energy. But puking is not so good, and I'm sure you know that. Oddly enough, when I would get angry, counting really helped me while thinking about the situation as a whole, and when I got time, especially before bed, I would meditate. It helped me a lot when I was younger (I don't know how old you are, I'm 23).
I think you should take some time for yourself to reflect on what it is you really want out of life, and the best options you have. It doesn't sound like your boyfriend is very nice, because going to school on your dime and calling you fat aren't exactly pro's (to me). Either way, I know it time you'll be okay, it's just about being patient, and taking it one day at a time. I hope it is sooner than later for you!
On a side note, I don't know the situation with your Mother, but just remember that you only have one, and sometimes by the time you are ready to forgive they aren't there anymore. Good luck with everything!